Sisters, embrace your singlehood; hold fast to your standards; and, never apologize for knowing what you want and going for it.

Men don’t!

Many of us have been taught — either by a parent, teacher, or friend — to DREAM BIG and AIM HIGH.

I even have those words engraved on my iPod.

But, it often appears that when we apply those ‘lofty’ principles to our personal lives; we are accused of acting siddity, bourgeois, or — heavens forbid — white.

Isn’t it funny that when a Black woman reaches for the heights, she often gets a label thrown at her in return?

I can play that game, too.

I have a few labels of my own: enterprising, confident, independent, and strong.

Sisters, wear those labels with pride — just like you do those designer outfits.

BTW, while you refuse to accept those negative labels the haters throw your way, please also refuse to accept nothing but the best.

And, when society, so-called experts, your friends, — and yes your Momma — purport to know what’s best for you, remember it’s your life.

The assumptions, assertions, and accusations will persist until you prove them right or hopefully prove them wrong.

Every Black woman I know has viewed ABC’s ‘Nightline’ piece on the “dilemma” of the never-married Black woman.

Host Cynthia McFadden started the package with a question, “Are their standards too high…or, are the pickings too slim?”

We’ll go to the videotape in a minute.

But first, would anyone ask a white woman that question?

Oh, I forget. Not only do white women get married at double the rate than Black women, they often marry our Black men.

Secondly, would anyone ask a Black man that question?

Of course not.

He’s keeping it real with white, Latina, and Asian women — with a few Black women thrown in for good measure.

Many Brothers — especially accomplished Brothers — are exercising their OPTIONS!

According to the “Nightline” piece, 42% of Black women have never been married.

But, you may recall, the 2006 Washington Post article, Singled Out – In Seeking a Mate, Men and Women Find Delicate Imbalance.

For every 100 single black women, there are 70 single black men, according to recent U.S. Census Bureau figures, a number that does not take into account the prison population or men living in group homes.

In the Washington area, there are 83 single black men for every 100 single black women.

That article caught Oprah’s attention, too.

Now, back to “Nightline”.

The “Nightline” piece profiles successful Sisters who are single but highly motivated to share their lives with someone special.

What’s very interesting here is what Jakene Ashford shares about what happens when she encounters a white man just the night before this interview.

Perhaps, you may see yourself.

I was so glad and proud to hear Chato Waters say that she will not settle.

What’s wrong with wanting your man to have what you have; what’s wrong with wanting your man to have the same academic and career successes as you — or at least working on it?

What’s wrong with wanting to be ‘evenly yoked’ in your relationship?

And yes, many of us Sisters have a strong preference to marry a Black man. What’s wrong with that?

Steve Harvey — who has been married three times — made a point of suggesting that women should explore dating older men.

That’s fine; however, if Sisters want to procreate, many older men say, “Been there – done that.”

But, you know what, 2010 is here.   Sisters do your thang — and keep on keepin’ on.

Having a man in your life is great; however, having a life is greater.