I am enjoying reading the Essence.com feature, “Will You Marry Me?”

I am by no means in the market for a husband; however, I am so proud reading the stories of the Brothers and Sisters as they embark on their lives together…and, generously share their experiences with Essence.com subscribers.

Their relationships are healthy, they are happy and in love, and they are Black.

Readers have learned many intimate details about the couples —- including the proposals.

Their videos are authentic and the companion blogs are real.

This Essence.com feature delves into numerous relationship issues including shared responsibilities, marriage ultimatums, money, religion, friendships, and intimacy.

Although I am not ready to get married, the articles have given me food for thought in terms of my dating choices and expectations.

So, you can image how surprised I was to find Reggie Bush on the cover of Essence magazine’s February issue.

On one hand, Essence.com is applauding BLACK LOVE — encouraging readers to vote for their favorite couple, and Tiffany & Co. is even sponsoring it.

On the other hand— Essence magazine is featuring a Black man who’s dating Kim Kardashian.

You know Kim.

She stars in the reality-TV show “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.”

And, just in case you forget, our favorite ‘swirler’ also starred in a sex tape she made with former boyfriend Ray J, brother of singer Brandy — another Brother.

Oops.

Don’t get me wrong.

Reggie Bush can date whomever he wants; however, this issue of Essence magazine is exploring Black men, love, and relationships.

In addition, Essence magazine is a place where Black woman go to ‘feel the love’ — similar to feeling the love at Essence.com.

Come to find out, I am not alone in this observation. I’m just late to the party.

Several columns and blogs written by Black women have beat me to the punch and already zoomed in on the Essence cover.

Like Philly.com columnist Jenice Armstrong‘s Essence fuels a stereotype.

The image of Bush has irritated a long-frayed nerve that is further aggravated by the fact that Essence, a magazine many black women think of as their own, made him its cover image.

It’s stirred up an old debate about high-profile black men and their preference for dating white or light-skinned women.

“It’s like a slap in the face,” wrote Caroline online.

My phone calls to Essence magazine weren’t returned yesterday. But on Essence.com, a lively debate is waging with more than 1,300 comments posted on this issue.

“Essence, I am extremely disappointed with your Reggie Bush cover,” Melinda wrote. “Why continue to build the stigma in our community that to really have ‘made it,’ you have to get a ACBB (Any Color But Black) woman on your arm.

Especially, focusing on Reggie Bush, who chose an ACBB woman, whose claim to America’s mainstream fame was a sex tape with Ray-J . . . This is not a portrayal of black love and relationships.”

On another Web site, Tania wrote, “I finally convinced my mother to cancel her subscription over this crap. Essence is supposed to be a BLACK WOMEN’S magazine devoted to LIFTING UP the Black woman.

Men who do not spend their resources, intimacies, and time lifting up the black woman should not have a spot in her specific magazine.”

What’s at issue, of course, is frustration on the part of many single black women who can’t find marriage partners.

Although interracial dating is viewed far more favorably than in years past, only a small percentage of African-Americans marry outside their race and black women lag behind black men in this area.

“What catches everybody’s attention is the high-status black men” who are with white women, said Charles Gallagher, a La Salle University professor.

“It’s Clarence Thomas. It’s Seal. It’s Reggie Bush,” he added. “There’s not a lot of black women that are with white men.

“People believe in this idea of romantic colorblindness. Everybody is down with that,” said Gallagher. “I hear this over and over, the idea that love transcends all and love is colorblind. I’ll tell you this, ‘love ain’t colorblind.’”

Here are a few of my favorite comments from Essence.com:

Mayleren:

I think Reggie Bush has been bred to think light is better. He’s willing to overlook the fact that Kim Kardashian has had a nose job, breast enhancement and fat injected into her behind, to look like a black woman, and wears a weave.

I’m sure Reggie has spoken negatively about black women who wear hair weaves, yet he will date a non-black woman who’s had numerous procedures and wears a weave. He has definately been conditioned.

Jazz Queen:

Reggie is free to date who he wants. That’s his prerogative, just as it is our prerogative that Essence put black men on the cover who appreciate, honor and love the black woman. Reggie Bush is not want of them.

Mrs. Sims:

God! BW just need to get over it.

There are plenty of men out there who love us, Black, White, Hispanic, Persian, even Pan-Asian etc. It’s time to explore the world and expand your horizons, instead of complaining and living in this small little box.

This is why so many BW are single. Why not praise Bush on his accomplishments as an athlete, helping the Saints get to the SUper Bowl for the first time EVER which is what the City of New Orleans needs, and looking good by taking care of himself.

That’s a whole other problem with our community, we don’t take care of ourselves by exercising and eating healthy.

Instead we spend 12 hours in the beauty salon spending $1000s of dollars on fake hair, overweight and wonder why you can’t get a Black man? Please, don’t blame the Reggie’s of the world, blame yourselves.

X:

Isabella, you don’t understand why we black women want black men because you don’t fully understand our history.

You don’t understand how it feels to be ripped from your family and sold into bondage.

You don’t understand how is feels to see your counterpart beat within inches of his life and then sold to the other “massa’s” house.

I know slavery has been over for many many year nows but unfortunately we’re (black people) are still feeling the negative affects. You can’t move foward into your future until you’ve healed from the past.

Alot of black women just want to heal and take back what was so viciously taken from us. Now do you understand?

And, this is Isabella (from above):

Reggie Bush is gorgeous speciman. I’ve Columbian and my sexy boyfriend is a native Serbian soccer player .

I don’t understand this need I continue to see by black women to be with one of their own in order to feel happy or validated.

I rarely ever see this from other women i.e. white, latina, or asian. The world is teeming with sexy men, of many different ethnicities.

Many of whom I know are open to any women of any color, provided she’s beautiful. Can anyone shed some light on this closed and clannish mentality? Black men, from what I see, are worlds away from the female counterparts in testing the water of interracial relationships.

Read the comments for yourself.

Incidentally, the following video was posted on YouTube in response to a statement regarding why Black male celebrities and athletes date and marry white or light-skinned women.

BTW, the couples are a bit outdated.

For instance, Jaleel White‘s date — Kendra Wilkinson — married another Brother. She is now Mrs. Hank Baskett.

Reggie Bush and Kim are back together; Russell Simmons has a new white girlfriend — Julie Henderson; and, Shaunie has filed for separation from Shaquille O’Neal.

Black men celebrities who are married or seeing a white or lightskin woman. Why do most Black Men prefer dating & marrying White or Lightskin Women?